Call Me Maybe
by Happy Dickfart
Summary: Bulma's still in love with Yamcha, but she's realizing she has feelings for Vegeta now. What a pickle! A lot can change in 3 years, though.
1. I threw a wish in the well

In an effort to get more in touch with my feminine side, I bring to you my very own BV 3 year gap story. I can't believe I haven't written one yet! You guys are in for a treat! :)

Call Me Maybe, by Di-chan

Bulma was sitting in her backyard with an iced banana pie pumpkin latte, wearing her favorite red bikini as she soaked up some rays and listened to her favorite 2010 pop bands. Like Justin Barry Benson Beeber (omfg i love him sooooo much!)

"Wow, what a day! It's so nice and relax."

"I'll say," said Yamcha, her boyfriend. He tipped his fedora to her and said, "And might I say, you look dashing today, m'lady."

"Aww, why thank you," said Bulma, rolling her eyes behind her Paris Hilton sunglasses, though batting her pretty eyelashes all the same. Yamcha was going to be her husband someday, and Bulma was OK with that. Except when a Saiyan space ship landed in her yard.

"OH FUDGEPOPS!" said Yamucha, hopping backward as the ground shook.

"Gee willickers!" said Vegeta, stepping out of his pod. "Who put this garden gnome where my ship supposed to land?"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" said the 90's laugh track from Full House.

"Oh, it's just Vegeta," said Bulma, and she sipped her latte. His abs rippled mighty scantily in his battle gi,, and his butt was STUCK. Pow, right in the retinas. Her nipples grew three sizes that day, but oh no! She had to stop that train of thought, because her boyfriend Yamcha would know and get mad.

"Vegeta, you rascal," said Yamcha, hooking his arm around the irate saiyan. "Why don't we head inside and catch the game. I herd you like baseball."

"Can it, dweeb," said Vegeta, pushing Yamcha into the nearest trashcan. Then he sauntered up to BUlma and said, "Woman, I need a vessel in which to plant my babyseed and produce spawn. Do you volunteer, or do I have to waste time seducing you?"

"You jerk! You pushed Yamcha in the garbage. Shame on you!" said Bulma, throwing a handful of dirt at Vegeta.

It would seem his work was cut out for him

Or was it?

3 days earlier'

Bulma went to the wishing well in her neighborhood town and threw a penny in it.

"Oh please, I grant my wish. I wish for true love to find me and whisk me away."

Shenlong, 300 miles east, sweatdropped, wondering why that lazy woman didn't just gather all the durn tootin draggin balls and ask him. He could grant a wish better than a silly old penny!

to be continued

hay guys i have a whole epic in the work so read and review. plz? maybe bulma and veggie will have a sexu scene, but i'm shy about writing those tee hee


	2. Don't ask me I'll never tell

Call Me Maybe, by Di-chan

Bulma had a Sanskrit attraction to Vegeta now. He was just so hot. Like he had rippling muscles, kissable lips, he wasn't too tall or too short, he was dark, and he looked great in spandex.

She urged Yamcha to do the sex with her harder that night, but she closed her eyes now and thought only of Vegeta.

She wanted to finger Vegeta's hair, among other places. Tee hee.

Then she wanted Vegeta to dress like a cowboy wearing nothing but leather boots and a hat while spinning a lasso.

Then she wanted to climb on a dinosaur's head while he plowed her doggy style.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh yes!" said Bulma. "Fuck me harder, ve-ve-Vegeta!"

"Yeah, bitch. Say my n... wait, what?"

to be continued

Lanky Kong: its such a gud song tho so many of my happy memorys and otpppps go to that song so kewl  
Guest: FUCK YOU. If you don't like this fucking song or fic then you didn't have to read it. STOP FLAMING ME ASSSHOLE!  
Guest: Soory but fuck you guest i am too shy aboot writing smex don't make fun of me it's not nice. :(

any way i hope you all liked this chapter read review fave and follow and remember Di-chan luvs u chuu


	3. I looked at you as it fell

Call Me Maybe, by Di-chan

"Bulma, what the frick? You just called me Vegeta!" said Yamcha, pulling out. His body part was instantly flaccid and he was resentful.

"Oh, so what?" said Bulma, laughing it off like a funny joke. "I dream about lots of guys. Vegeta's not really all that special."

"Do you promise?" Yamcha asked. "Because you know, that really hurts my feelings."

"Says the guy who cheated on me 293457294352397458 times," said Bulma, rolling her eyes.

"ONE time. OK, maybe two... OK, at least five," said Yamcha, ducking his head in shame. "In my defense, I'm terrified of commitment. I didn't really have a father figure growing up, so it messed me up."

"I know that, Yamcha. You remind me every time you cheat on me, which is several times a day!"

"But calling Vegeta's name during sex is just as bad! No, actually, it's worse, because you plastered another man's name over my peen. A man's peen is his pride. You need to be associating that body part with ME, not Vegeta."

"Wait, I know what can reverse the peen swap and put everything back to norman," said Bulma. "Because I'm a genius and pretty."

"Wut?"

She cackled and rubbed her palms together. "I just have to have sex with Vegeta!"

to be continued

Guest: Of course, he's a friggin buttmonkey.

rly guys, only ONE review? what the fuck. pathetic! here i am trying to provide you all with wholesome family literature, and you ignore me in favor of what? the same boring shitty fanfics where naruto and hinata are going to high school and having homework dates? wow. wow. assholes. i hope your sexual partner cries vegeta's name in the middle of cum. you people make me sick!


	4. And now you're in my way

Call Me Maybe, by Di-chan

"WHAT?!" said Yamcha. "But that's cheating."

"It's only cheatin if I lie about it and I'm not lying," said Bulma, tossing her bathrobe on. "I'm gonna go have sex with Vegeta and get it over with. Then we'll be all good."

"All good? ALL GOOD?" Yamcha grabbed her by the shoulders with tears running down his cheeks. "How can you say this is all good? My penis isn't enough for you. You should have never wished me back to life. I could be boning dead space chicks on King Kai's planet, but no. I came back to get cucked by me own GEE EFF. This is literally the worst thing to ever happen to another man in the history of time and space, in every dimension."

"Get over it," said Bulma, and she left the room, her pussy juices directing her like a compass toward Vegeta's gravity room. The sex was cumming.

to be continued

Guest: Yes it is wholesome its a storee about luv and friedship, which u would know if yu could read  
Koudelkaerith: That's what she said.  
Guest: I'll keep that in mind.  
Guest: Lol  
Guest: OK, I will continue. Thank you for your support. FUCK THE HATERS!


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